Cry
by Kijikun1
Summary: You'll just have to read it...Angel angst


Cry Opehlia

Disclaimer: Buffy and such belongs to Joss and co.

By Shaina

Note: Written awhile ago. Thought I'd share. No more will be written. So please don't ask. I don't even remember where I was going with this.

Part 1: Being the other woman sucks. Or How much it sucks when the vampire your in love with is hung up on the slayer.

__

Something went wrong

You are not laughing

It's not so easy now to get your smile

Its amazing. Here he is brooding over the slayer, who's so obvisouly moved on its not funny…and all I can think of his whether or not my father would have liked him. Sometimes I think he would have….

"She should have called by now. She should have been back in Sunnydale an hour ago." Angle almost growled as he paced.

And then there are times that I wonder what the hell I see in him myself.

"Stop pacing fang boy..you'll wear a hole in the carpet. And that would really piss of Cordy." My roommate tended to get a little…bitchy about things like that. Then again I get a little …catty..about something too.

Angel gave me a sheepish look…which let me tell you looks so stupid on a vampire. But damit he was still cute. 

"Yea she'd probably stake me."

"Nah…she wouldn't stake you. It get dust all over the nice white carpet."I muttered dryly.

Angel chuckles at my words…a rare sound from him. I wonder if he knows how special it makes me feel that I can make him laugh…smile and maybe forget for a while…

A smiled at him, wondering if my eyes betrayed my emotions for him as I met his. It was moments like this,…when he looked at me in that way of his..making me feel like maybe he cared about me..that I was more than a orphan half-demon, …..that I knew why I lov--- cared about him. 

Then his eyes turned from mine to look at the phone. 

"I'm, sure she's fine Angel. She probably just forgot to call. It's a long drive..she probably got back to her dorm and crashed." I offered.

He nodded. "Yea..you're probably right.."Angel said still staring at that damn phone. "So…heard from Summer's?" 

Figures he'd change the subject.

"Yea..right before Buffy showed up yesterday. Her and William will be coming home in a week. Whether or not ol' Will will have all his parts when they get back is another subject."

Angel chuckled again. "At least she hasn't turned him into a rabbit again."

I had to laugh as I remember that. Starting to sit up I winced involuntarily as I jolsed m bruised ribs. 

The smile faded from his beautiful face at my small sound of pain. A look of gulit..of pain replaced it. Yesterday I probably would have let him suffer….I wasn't in the best of moods, and HE"D been the one to go following after Buffy like a puppy…..

But then again I was the idiot that thought I could take on all those vampire alone. And almost got myself killed in the process. So much from proving to Angel that I could handle myself just as well as his little slayer. 

Now don't get me wrong. I like Buffy well enough..and I've got this stupid 'bond' thingy with her and all…but I just want to cry every time I see the way Angel looks at her. And maybe that's because I know he'll never look at me like that. 

Oh no…he's starting to brood again..I can see it in his face…

"Don't Angel….please don't'…."

His eyes meet mine again..and I have to look away. Being an empathy really bites sometimes.

"Its my fault your hurt…if me and Buffy had gotten there a few moments later…."His face twisted in anguish. 

I shurg biting back another whimper. "I would have gotten what I dissevered. I AM a demon."

"That doesn't mean you deserve to die!" Angel growled his face changing for a moment in anger. At me or himself I couldn't tell.

Suddenly he was kneeling beside me his hands on my shoulders. "Promise me you'll never take that kind of risk again." he whispered, Angel's eyes were almost desperate.

"What Buffy can take on a horde of fanged ones and I can't…." 

He stopped me with a anger look. "Promise me 'Phelia."

Oh god..I could of laughed it off if he'd called me Ophelia..or Sneakers….but I can't say no when he calls me that. 

"I-I promise Angel." I whispered. "I promise on my father's grave."

His fingers trace down my face, over my lips and cheek bones… so cold against my warm skin…and I tremble…telling myself its from the cold. 

"Your so warm…"I can barely hear his words as his fingers trailed down to my pulse.

I think he's going to kiss me..please…oh god please let him kiss me…just once..and I'll never ask for anything ever again. My eyes can't look away from his…I can feel his muscles under his shirt…wait..how'd my hands get there?

His mouth is so close to mine..he's gonna kiss me….my eyes close……

Then the phone rings.

And Angel springs at it..and by the look on his face I know it's Buffy. That adoring puppy dog look back on his face. I tuned out what he was saying to her and got to my feet. Ignoring the pain…whether it came from my ribs or my heart, I went into my room turned off the light and curled up under the covers. Trying not to cry…and I'm putting a lot of stress on the trying part. 

Eventually I hear him stop talking…I'm pretty sure he's hung up the phone…

" 'Phelia?"

I close my eyes tightly pretending I'm asleep. His foot falls come closer to my room…he stops and knocks on the open door. " ' Phelia?"

I close my eyes even tighter as I feel him watching me. He enters my room..I can tell by his foot steps..and by his scent..god he smells good…

"Goodnight 'Phelia.." Angel whispers, his fingers brush against my forehead before he pulls my blankets up around me more. He stands there for a while and I loose track of time. 

Then I hear him leave the room..then the front door shut. And as I hear that sound….I start to cry into my pillow..

And I cry until I fall asleep..and I'll probably cry in my sleep. 

__

You gotta be strong

To walk these streets

And keep from falling

But when you're not, just let yourself cry 

You've been working hard

Just trying to pay the rent

Tryin' to draw the line between who you are

and who you invent

But if you throw a stone

Something's gonna shatter somewhere

We're all so fragile

We're all so scared 

Part 2: Poor little rich girl 

You've been working hard

Just trying to pay the rent

Tryin' to draw the line between who you are

and who you invent

But if you throw a stone

Something's gonna shatter somewhere

We're all so fragile

We're all so scared 

I woke to the sound of knocking at my door. And my first response was to put my head under my pillow and try to go back asleep. But the person kept knocking. 

"Yea?" I called sleepily looking at the clock, before grabbing my glasses….so I could actually see what time it was. 2am? Cordy was just getting back? Either that or I had a really polite burglar on my hands. Or vampire. Out of the three I'd rather deal with a vampire. Easier to get rid of.

"Sneakers? You up?" It was Cordy. Oh joy…she was probably going to tell me all about her date with Wesley. About how much fun she had while I was putting up with Buffy and obsessed brood boy. Okay..so I didn't mind putting up with Angel to much..but still….its 2 am….

"I am now, Cord. What's up? Other than us and vampires?" I asked sarcastically as she came into the room. Any other smart ass remarks I was going to make left me. "Cordy? You all right?"

Her mascara was smeared and running down her face with her tears. She shook her head. "No. I'm not."she whispered. She had to be upset to let anyone see her like this.

"God Cordy..what happened? Did you and Wesley fight?"I asked getting out of bed to pull her to sit on the edge of my bed.

"I don't think I EVER want to here that name again…"She said softly. "T-that pompous british..ASS accused me of flirting with other men while I was out with him…."

"Cordy…you do have a tendency…to make nice…"I stopped as she gave me a look. "Well you do…" I sighed. God it was too early to be dealing with this.

"I wasn't..really Ophelia..I wasn't even looking at the waiter! Wesley just go so angery..it was so unlike him." She bit her lip. "He yelled at me. Wesley never yells at me."

I stopped myself from pointing out that Wesley never yells at anyone but teapots and put a comforting arm around her. "I'm sure it wasn't you Cordelia…he's been under a lot of stress lately. I'm sure he'll apologize." 

She shook her head. "N-no. He..he broke up with me." The ice queen of Sunnydale voice cracked at bit as she told me that. Tears streamed down her face. "N-nobody..b-breaks up with Cordelia Chase…" She tried to say with her usual arrogance…but she couldn't pull it off.

"It's all right Cordy.."I told my roomie and fast becoming best friend. " He's not worth it." 

"L-like Angel's worth you being miserable?" she shot back. 

I hugged her letting her cry into my shoulder, listening to her tell me about what a jerk Wesley was and how I should just get over Angel. I started to cry to.

It wasn't till awhile later that I realized we were both crying about men that neither though was worth the other's time. But the were worth our time, our tears, and maybe....just maybe…our love.

__

You say you wanna learn how to live your life

without tears

But we've been trying to do that for thousands of years

So go on and cry Ophelia

It's the only thing to do sometimes

You know I'm crying too

Right there with you

It's alright Ophelia

Everybody cries

Thank god for my bad memory

I've forgotten some of the stupid things

that I've done

I've come to a little wisdom

through a whole lot of failure

So I watch more carefully what rolls off my tongue

You pray for rain

But you don't want it from a storm

You find a rose

And cut your finger on a thorn

So go on and cry Ophelia

It's the only thing to do sometimes

You know I'm crying too

Right there with you

It's alright Ophelia

Everybody cries Opehlia


End file.
